May 2, 1874

Chapter Twenty-Six

With Erik's leaving on the train for North Carolina, winter seemed to return to the Rockies with a vengeance.

Despite the fact that my calendar insisted that the season should be spring, I had to break ice on the water buckets in the barn each morning, and I often woke to find that overnight snow flurries had blanketed the ground with a new layer of white. Bitter cold seeped underneath the doors, and gusts of wind howled down the chimneys and rattled the windows like a predator that has cornered its prey.

My reception in the town of Colorado Springs was equally cold, as gossip about the trial continued. Few of the women spoke to me other than Mike, Grace, Dorothy, and Myra, but the men that I passed on the street were all too familiar, with knowing looks replacing the deference that they had always shown.

As a matter of form I had handed in my resignation, but I knew the chance that I would have been offered a contract to teach for the upcoming school year was extremely remote. My qualifications and skills mattered little compared to the whiff of scandal that was now attached to my name, and the fact that I was being allowed to finish out the term was more than likely due to what Michaela had described as Hank's fiery insistence to the rest of the Town Council in a closed-door meeting that the allegations of misconduct against me were completely false.

The Council had wasted no time in approaching Beth about the possibility of becoming my replacement, but since life in Colorado Springs was a great deal more rustic than anything my sister had bargained for, she had not yet given them her answer. Still, there was very little doubt in my mind that in the end she would agree to stay. Like me, Beth had unexpectedly fallen in love for the very first time here in these mountains, and while teaching positions for someone with a college education could be found almost anywhere, what she was discovering with Zach Lawson was something much more rare.

 

Although I had thought that the plunging temperatures would surely cause a scheduled barn-raising for the McDonald family to be cancelled on the first Saturday in May, Zach and Beth had gotten up, dressed in warm clothing, and headed toward the couple's farm as soon as it was light outside. Yawning, I made myself a fresh cup of coffee and settled down in front of the fire to read for awhile before tackling the pile of freshly washed clothes that hadn't yet been ironed. Zach took advantage of the fact that his father owned a hotel by having his dirty laundry done in town, but on alternate Saturdays I washed or pressed Beth's clothes and my own, plus all of our linens.

I was so engrossed in the romantic tale of a handsome rum runner and the southern vixen that he was falling in love with that I failed to notice the sound of an approaching wagon until it stopped in my own yard. Brian secured the reins and jumped down from the driver's seat while Sully helped Michaela to the ground, then Katie, and I smiled as the child hugged one of my sheepdogs around the neck, giggling in delight when Maggie swiped several wet doggie kisses against her cheek.

"Maggie thinks you didn't wash yer face this mornin'," Sully teased, squatting on his heels to pet the male dog, Zeke.

"Mama did--two times," Katie solemnly explained to the shaggy canine.

"You're not dressed." Mike frowned at my nightgown and robe.

"Well, I'm certainly not standing out here stark naked!" I protested lightly, pushing my hair back over my shoulder. "Come on in. There's plenty of coffee left from breakfast--and a few cinnamon buns that are still nice and warm."

"What about the McDonald's barn-raising?"

"Zach and Beth headed off in that direction about half an hour ago. I sent along two cakes and a pie--I hope that's enough?"

"Might as well go put on yer clothes--she's already got her mind set on you goin', too," Sully offered mildly, joining me on the porch.

"I hadn't planned on it." I opened the door. "But if you can spare a few minutes on your way over, I would be ever-so-grateful if y'all would finish off those sweet rolls--before I cave in to temptation and decide to have another one."

"I would be more than pleased to help out." Brian grinned as we trooped into the house.

"Exactly how long do you intend to hide out here--acting like a hermit?" Michaela challenged, taking off her coat as Sully headed for the coffee pot on the stove. "Ever since the trial you've gone absolutely nowhere other than to work and to church. Beth even does all of the shopping for you."

"I no longer go into the Mercantile because, unfortunately, each time that I've been in there after Hank was acquitted, at least one of Mr. Bray's male customers stands uncomfortably close and 'accidentally' rubs up against me."

"You shoulda told Loren." Sully's brow furrowed.

"Those men will still be making purchases from him long after I'm gone. Why create friction when it's much simpler for Beth to pick up whatever we need?" I took the fragrant cinnamon-raisin pastries out of the warmer and put them on a platter, then poured milk for Katie. Glancing at Mike's pregnant waistline, I set the pitcher of milk and extra glasses on the table, along with the coffee.

"The Caitlyn I know woulda put 'em smack-dab back in their places." Sully gazed at me over his cup. "Not let 'em cow her. You always 've had as much gumption as men twice yer size."

"I seem to have temporarily misplaced it."

"Then you need to find it," Michaela advised sharply. "A month ago you wouldn't have put up with that type of blatant disrespect, and there's absolutely no reason why you should start now."

"Mike, anything that I say--or do--will only provide this town with more fuel for gossip." I laid napkins beside each plate. "The last thing that I want is to draw even more attention to myself."

"Are you truly willing to allow what a few people think to stop you in your tracks?" She bit into a glazed roll.

"I'm trying to take this one day at a time." I joined them at the table. "To decide which battles are really worth fighting. At the moment what I won't 'allow' is for those 'few people,' and what they think, to ruin Iain's and Niamh's barn-raising party."	

"You and Niamh have been friends for almost as long as you and I have," Michaela reminded me. "I feel quite certain that she expects you to show up there today--and will be hurt and greatly disappointed if you don't."

"I'm afraid that I'm not very handy with a hammer and nails."

"Barn-raising's are fun." Brian chose milk for himself rather than coffee. "You ever been to one, Miss Caitlyn?"

"I had never even heard of such a thing until I came out here," I admitted.

"When I saw Iain in town yesterday he said the pond on his pa's farm is frozen solid--several inches thick," Brian enthused. "Should be just right for skating."

"Skating?" I turned to Michaela. "As in attaching skinny metal runners to the bottoms of my feet and racing around on pure ice?"

"I learned to skate when I was five, and I love it." She grinned at my look of panic. "But it's not mandatory that you put on a pair of skates. There will be other things to do."

"Do you really think that Niamh would be upset if I didn't come?" I felt myself losing ground in my determination to stay at home, ironing and reading.

"I would be." She finished off the last crumbs of her pastry.

"The sled's out in the wagon." Aware of how much I had loved the sensation of flying down the hill when his family and I had gone sledding earlier in the winter, Sully sealed my fate. "Snow's packed just right to make it a good, fast ride."

"Okay--you win." I got to my feet. "Help yourself to more coffee while I change clothes."

 

Long before the wagon reached the adjoining farms of Iain and his father, Yoghan McDonald, we could hear the sound of hammers and see that the skeleton frame of the barn had already gone up, and as we pulled into the crowded yard there were shouts of greeting from many of the men who were busily nailing wide boards to the wall studs. Lumber had been ordered months earlier and carefully sawed to the correct lengths, and now what looked to be about 30 adult males were making short work of the labor of erecting the structure for the newly married couple.

Sunlight gleaming against one man's disheveled mop of golden hair drew my attention to the workers laying shingles on the roof, and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. Hank. Brushing irritably at the curls that tumbled into his face, he worked alongside Robert E, his jeans molding snugly to the hard muscles of his upper thighs and hips as he crouched on the steep incline.

"I had no idea that he would be here," I admitted softly.

"Hank almost always helps with something like this." Mike removed a basket containing a baked ham, jars of applesauce, plates, cups, and silverware from the back of the wagon.

"You certainly picked a fine time to tell me that," I grumbled.

"If I had told you earlier, would you have come?"

"Absolutely not." I reached for the small totebag that held Katie's extra clothes and a few toys.

"Then why would I have mentioned it?" Mike asked reasonably, flashing me a quick smile.

"Because you're supposedly my best friend?" I suggested.

"Even more reason not to tell you that he would probably be here."

"When I was seeing Hank you disapproved--now that we're doing our best to avoid each other, you're trying to play match-maker." I sighed. "Has anyone ever told you that you have incredibly poor timing, Michaela Quinn?"

"I've missed hearing you laugh." She met my gaze.

"I hurt too much."

"You gotta boo-boo, Kae-lin?" Katie caught hold of my hand.

"A really big 'boo-boo." I nodded, picking her up and settling her on my hip. "One about six-foot-three."

"Where at?"

"Right here." I touched the area over my heart.

"Didya fall?" she asked curiously.

"Extremely hard and deep." My eyes strayed back to the blond-haired male on the roof.

"Kisses'll make it all better," Katie promised.

"Out of the mouth of babes," Mike said quietly, carrying the basket toward the house.

Niamh greeted us warmly at the front door, and after a moment of awkward silence the women gathered around the huge quilting frame suspended from the ceiling resumed talking. I picked up a threaded needle and a thimble to begin quilting one of the squares, silently cursing myself for allowing Michaela and Sully to talk me into coming along for what promised to be a very long, very miserable day.

At half-past noon, when we went outside to spread tablecloths on the long plank tables and set out the meal, I was surprised by how much of the new barn had already been completed. The hayloft and interior partitions would be finished off by Iain, his father, and two brothers, which left only the work to be done on a quarter of the roof and the back wall and doors before the promised fun would begin.

Zach, whose ability to do carpentry work was hampered by his broken arm, had enlisted help from several of the younger boys in clearing away snow and dried brush from a spot in the middle of a field, and a huge bonfire gave off welcome heat as we carried our plates closer to the blaze. Settled down next to Mike, Katie hemmed in between us for safe-keeping, I was too aware of Hank's presence on the opposite side of the fire to pay attention to the conversations that ebbed and flowed around me.

Dressed in an indigo-blue shirt and a well-worn buckskin jacket, the longer hair at his nape brushing against his shoulders, Hank sat on the ground with one knee raised, using a log that had been drug into the field for seating as a backrest. A small silver flask had appeared from his pocket and was being passed around the circle of men clustered nearby, each of them taking a single swallow before passing it on. After the day's work was done several bottle of whiskey would undoubtedly be shared around the fire, but until the job was finished a taste was all that anyone would allow himself.

I watched surreptitiously as Hank finished eating and set aside his empty plate, savoring a cup of coffee and a smoke before climbing back up onto the roof. Turning to the man seated next to him he laughed at something that was said--the low husky sound causing my heart to skip a beat--then raised his head, his eyes meeting mine across the distance. The pain of having lost him ripped through me once again as I froze-- unable to look away. His gaze dipped momentarily to my lips, then without even a change of expression to acknowledge my presence, he got abruptly to his feet, flicked his cigarette into the fire, and went back to work.

"Think I'll get the sled out." Sully stood up and stretched.

"Why so early?" Mike pulled Katie into her lap and rocked her.

"Looks to me like Cait's ready to try that hill."

"Unfortunately, all of the women are expected to help clean up, then put in some more work on that quilt until the barn is finished," Michaela explained drily.

"Wouldn't be the first time either one of you broke a rule." He grinned. "They're our dishes--can't they can be washed back at home good as here?"

"Our girl's nap won't wait, regardless of when we do the dishes."

"I'll keep an eye on her," Grace volunteered, pressing a kiss against her own sleeping daughter's be-ribboned plaits. "Put 'em down on the same pallet, and two's no more trouble to watch than one."

"That settles it then." Sully headed toward the wagon.

"Give Katie to me--I'll carry her back to the house for you," Beth offered, transferring the drowsy child from Mike's arms to her own.

Sully hefted the sled to the ground, then shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto the seat before heading back to where several sawhorses held one of the huge barn doors that he was building. As Michaela pulled on her mittens and cap, I eyed her bulging abdomen doubtfully.

"You ARE simply going along with me to watch?" I asked hesitantly. "You don't mean to actually go sledding?"

"And why not?"

"Ummm, because you have at least one baby in there?" I pointed toward her expanded waistline.

"You'll be the one doing all of the work. I intend to do nothing more than ride." She smiled.

"But after the problems that you had with Katie...and losing the last one..."

"The third time ought to be charmed," Mike said firmly.

"Okay--you're the doctor." I slipped my own mittens on and took hold of the rope, towing the sled along behind us.

"We won't have the hill to ourselves for very long," she predicted, directing me toward a snow-covered slope in the distance that Iain had checked for hidden obstacles and marked with a ribbon stuck on a pole to indicate that it was safe for sledding. "The barn should be up in about another hour."

"Sully may kill me when he finds out that I allowed you to do this," I grumbled.

"In the middle of the day it's safe enough," she reassured me quietly. "Closer to sundown, when the temperature drops, whatever snow has melted will refreeze into a crush of ice on the surface and make the run downhill too fast. But until then, if you dump me off I'll land in a nice, soft snowbank. I'll be fine."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather you stay on the sled and not test that theory."

"You need to know that I'm not dealing at all well with the fact that you're leaving Colorado," Michaela admitted suddenly. "The more that I think about it, the harder it gets."

"There are days when I don't believe that I can stand to be here another minute--and others when I know that it's going to break my heart to go," I confessed softly.

"This summer would have been different because of the baby, but I keep thinking about how much I'm going to miss all of those softball games and picnics--racing Flash against Storm--and those afternoons when we slipped off to Haynes' Creek to go fishing or swimming..."

"Skinny-dipping." I grinned. "How many trips out there did it take before I got you to just try it?"

"The hardest part was explaining to Sully how I got sunburned THERE," she chuckled.

"I suspect that he's doffed those buckskins to swim more than a few times himself."

"I think that Haynes' Creek is where this one got started," she confided, lightly stroking her belly. "I decided that it would be fun to go back the next day for a swim with Sully...and surprise him by dropping my camisole and drawers."

"Hell's bells! In one afternoon I managed to turn you into a regular wanton," I teased. "Just think of how much damage I could have done if I had stayed here even longer!"

"I was hoping that you might be showing Hank that swimming hole around mid-summer. That a year from now you would be close to having a child of your own."

"Michaela...please, don't," I requested softly, my stomach twisting with an aching need.

After a long moment of silence Mike sighed and changed the subject. "Do you think that Beth will accept our offer for the next school term? Or should we be putting out advertisements?"

"Beth could probably find a teaching position anywhere she wants to live." I drew in a deep breath and exhaled, letting go of the pain her words had inadvertently caused. "If she stays, it will be because of Zach. I have a very strong feeling that even though Zach Lawson will never be my son, he will eventually become my brother."

"When I first met Beth I was thinking that perhaps she and Matthew..." Her voice trailed off.

"McShane women seem to have a weakness for tall blonds." I smiled. "Anna and Mairead are both married to men who are over six foot and blond, and from the minute that Beth laid eyes on Zach he was all that she could see. Perhaps we're all subconsciously looking for a male who's tall enough to reach things that we've never been able to get down from the top shelves..."

"Sully keeps telling me that Matthew will find someone when he's ready--but sometimes I wonder... I can't help worrying about him."

We had reached the top of the hill, and I paused, carefully scanning the hill for hidden stumps or rocks. Satisfied, I pulled my stocking cap down firmly over my ears, then positioned the roomy sled.

"Get your big old pregnant belly down on this thing and make yourself comfortable." I grinned. "I'm ready to go."

 

Squealing and laughing, we made repeated trips down the slope, with me pushing off and piling on top of Michaela for nearly an hour before we spotted a line of people moving in our direction, dragging their own sleds. On our final run, I deliberately rolled off of the sled near the bottom of the hill, then stood up and fell backwards, creating a snow-angel. Hopping to my feet, I made another one right next to it, then scooped up handfuls of snow to create a huge mound where the 'angel's' stomach would have been.

"You--and me." I waved my arm in a flourish toward my "masterpiece."

"Not quite." Squatting down, she drew devil's horns on the "non-pregnant" snow-angel. "Now. That's much better."	

Waving at Sully, we trudged back up to the top again and turned the sled over to Brian and his friends. Niamh had prepared huge cauldrons of hot, spiced cider and several pans of roasted chestnuts, which Iain was patiently hauling out to the frozen pond, and Mike and I hurried to be the first in line to fill our cups. Stuffing my pockets full of the still-warm chestnuts, I smiled wistfully as I saw Beth stretch out on Zach's borrowed sled...and for a moment I allowed myself to imagine how good it would feel to have his father's body covering mine on that race down the hill.

Even though I was grateful for the fact that my sister was finally allowing herself to learn to trust and love Zach, it was painful to watch their new love bloom and grow in such close quarters. I felt like an outsider--my own life totally barren--as they laughed and talked together, exchanging glances that spoke volumes more than they were ready yet to say. Given his lack of experience with women and her past, I expected their relationship to develop slowly, but the road that they seemed to be traveling together was clearly going to be much smoother than the one that I had tried to walk with Hank. Despite his own inability to believe that real love was a gift without strings--something that could be counted on to last--Hank had somehow managed to raise a son who had an open heart.

The scraping of blades and the laughter of friends calling back and forth to each other as they hurried to strap on skates filled the air with a sense of excitement, and I wandered down to the pond. Making myself comfortable on a log that had been cut in half to create a bench, I watched the skaters drift out onto the ice, forming a colorful procession as they skated around the large circle.

Within minutes I spotted Sully and Michaela, her hair now loose and flowing around her as they twirled and glided along together in what seemed to be almost a type of dance. She skated gracefully, executing figure-eights and a swan-like spin with breathtaking skill, and I suddenly realized why Sully had made no objection to her being out on the ice at this advanced stage of pregnancy. Mike was as much at home on skates as I was on the back of a horse or in the water.

Finally they returned to where I sat, his arm wrapped around her, and as they skated to a stop in front of me he pulled her up against him for a long, hungry kiss. For a moment their eyes held, and then she dropped down beside me to rest.

"Very impressive," I complimented them both, applauding lightly.

"That kiss--or Michaela on skates?" Sully winked.

"Both." I smiled.

"Unfortunately, I don't have the stamina right now to stay out on the ice for as long as I would like to." She rubbed her back. "Sully, why don't you teach Caitlyn how to skate?"

"No, thank you," I firmly refused the offer. "If God had meant for me to do that, I would have been born with pillows attached to both knees and my rump."

"Chicken." Mike grinned.

"That's not fair," I grumbled.

"I seem to recall that being the very same word that you called me down at Haynes' Creek last summer." She lifted one eyebrow. "Chicken!"

"Yes, and look what happened to you after you let me talk you into swimming without any clothes." I glanced down at her abdomen and back to her face. "By all rights that kid ought to be named 'Haynes' Sully."

"I hardly think that you need to worry a great deal about that." Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "It's much too cold--and crowded--here."

"You're a mean woman, Michaela Quinn," I accused.

"Baach..baach..baach...baach..." She made chicken noises.

"I don't have any skates--and yours are too big." I beamed at her, thinking that I had come up with a way out.

"We just happened to bring Colleen's old skates along--and her feet and yours are exactly the same size."

"Just HAPPENED to, huh?" I eyed the skates as if she was holding up a live, seven-foot-long rattlesnake. "The fact that I have absolutely no desire to learn to scoot around on ice--and will have no use whatsoever for this skill when I return home--means nothing to you, right?"

"Not a thing," she agreed amiably.

"What if I break something?"

"Your medical care will be entirely on the house."

"That's quite generous of you," I said drily. "Help me get those dad-blasted skates on."

"You're a jolly good sport." She giggled.

"I'll find some way to get you back for this," I threatened, as Sully knelt and grasped my ankle, putting the skates on for me. "Never fear."

"Good as yer balance is, you'll get the hang of skatin' in no time," he reassured me, holding out his hand.

"Don't count on it," I mumbled, allowing him to lead me out onto the ice.

Feet held rigidly together, I clung to Sully, giving the laughing Michaela the evil eye as I struggled to keep my legs from going in opposite directions. For several minutes he held me around the waist, letting me get the feel of the skates while gently encouraging me to relax.

Grasping my elbow and one hand, Sully finally coaxed me into venturing further away from the shoreline and to try moving my feet. We slowly made our way up and down the pond a dozen times before he abruptly let go. I waved my arms for balance, bending to and fro for several shaky seconds, but somehow I managed to avoid falling. Turning to smirk at Michaela, who was holding her aching sides as she laughed, I promptly fell onto my bottom.

"You're doing fine," Sully insisted, reaching his hand out again to help me up.

"Just fine and dandy," I replied drily, now doggedly determined to skate the length of the pond one time by myself or to die trying.

By the end of another half hour, feeling less afraid and more sure of myself, I set out alone, grimly intent on making the complete circle. Although I would never master any of the fancy turns that Mike performed so effortlessly--nor glide across the ice with the speed that Sully did--I managed to keep my feet from flying out from underneath me as I lurched clumsily forward.

As I approached the starting point, cheeks rosy pink from exercising in the cold air, I looked up and suddenly felt a moment of panic when the tree-lined bank loomed dangerously close. "SULLY!" I screeched. "I don't know how to..."

Slamming hard into another skater, the two of us went down in a tangle of skirts and legs. He lay on his back, with me sprawled on top of him, and I blushed as I stared down at Hank. "I don't know how to stop," I weakly finished my sentence.

His beautiful blue eyes were inches away from mine, my hair falling down around our faces like a thick curtain...and his arms had reflexively wrapped around me as he broke my fall. "I can feel yer heartbeat," he whispered.

"I've never skated before," I replied inanely.

"I know. I been watchin'."

"And laughing?" I asked ruefully.

"Just watchin'."

Realizing that my body was pressed intimately against Hank's in front of at least 50 people, I tried to raise myself to my feet-- succeeding only in slipping and falling back down on top of him again.

He grunted as my elbow landed hard in his stomach, and his arms tightened around my waist. "Maybe I oughta get up first."

Rolling me over onto the ice, he rose easily to his feet, then extended his hand to pull me up. "Yer wearin' Nana's locket." Hank's gaze went to my throat, where the necklace had slipped out from underneath my sweater.

"I'm sorry...I should have returned it sooner." My hands went automatically to the clasp. "There hasn't been an opportunity until now."

"Keep it."

"I couldn't." I swallowed hard. "It belonged to your grandmother."

"It's yers now." His eyes held mine.

"But..."

"She told me I'd know the right woman to wear it when the time came--an' I did." Hank repeated words similar to the ones that he had said when he had first given me the locket. "Never said a thing about me takin' it back. You keep it."

Spinning around on the ice, he skated away, leaving me standing alone at the edge of the frozen pond.

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